Dealing with Difficult Clients: How to Write a “Mean Mom” Email
Have you ever received a scathing email from a client that made you want to crawl under your desk? Or maybe throw your computer out the window? We've all been there.
Anyone with a business and a pulse is working hard around the clock to build strong relationships with their clients, but sometimes it hits a snag.
If I’ve learned anything these past ten years is that the choice is usually clear:
When faced with an easy decision and a hard one–the right decision is always the hard one. If it was the easy one, you already would have done it. - Alex Hormozi
When hit with a client gone rogue there are four key parts to this equation.
We probably need to have a difficult conversation.
You 100% need to wait at least a day to reply
It’s worth investigating and pinpoint what you and your team could have handled differently (read: this is usually expectation based)
You ALSO need to address how they got into your environment in the first place.
We don’t know everything, but we know this sucks all around and avoiding it doesn’t help anything. Let’s dive into these round parts and share our hot take on handling challenging client interactions, including the infamous "mean mom emails". The goal is to not lose your shirt in the process, not take it SUPER personally, and maintain your confidence and professionalism.
Step One: Difficult Conversations & the Importance of Boundaries
Okay no one, and I mean no one enjoys there. I would argue we all cringe and try to do anything but what we have to do (see the quote above). But if you’re the leader of a team-the buck stops with you and you’re up to bat on these.
Before we get into the fine print of writing the emails and have the calls we hate– let's talk about why boundaries are important. As a business owner, your time and energy are valuable resources. They are finite. I can tell you that NOTHING will derail your day faster than having to deal with high pressure and stressful nonsense.
ESP when you could have avoided it. Sometimes, bad news (and other things) roll downhill and that’s just life. You’re stuck in it. But OTHER times, you could have headed off the collision. More on that later.
The point is this: you need to be able to set limits on what you're willing to do for your clients, how you’re going to do it, when you’re going to do it and so on and so forth. If you don't set boundaries, you'll end up overworked, non-productive, overstressed, and resentful. Plus, if you let one difficult client push you around? You'll set an precedent that can be hard to break. Err on the side of always-either from you directly or your team-establishing clear boundaries from the beginning.
Step Two: Take Your Mouse off the SEND Button
For the love of all things holy: do not send emotionally charged emails or pick up your phone day of. We are not in the business of saving lives. You AND your client will be better with some simmering time.
My first reaction is never my last. I need to think, I need to explore my options and I need to consult my mentors and leadership team. Nothing happens in a speedy vacuum over here and I 100% recommend the same for you and your business.
Step Three: After Analysis-What Went Wrong
Don’t just handle the crisis and move on. Take every chance you can to learn and reverse engineer how you got there. One thing I know for sure? Making decisions out of fear never pay off. Did you let someone in that wasn’t a great fit? Did you FEEL off about it but needed the money? Neither are good and neither person has any business working with you.
You are NOT required to accept everyone in. Review your filters and shore up where needed to get better outcomes for everyone: you, your team and your clients.
Step Four: Shore Up the Holes
Whatever is broken, you need to fix it. Not your team, you. Is it the sales process? What are the red flags? Is there a communication miss? In our free download there’s a full page of questions to ask yourself as you forge a new path forward after a difficult time with a client.
How to Write a Mean Mom Email
Okay, know what you have to do but have NO idea where to start and generally feel panic just thinking about this? Not to fear! We’ve got a vetted and battle tested resource just for you. :)
Inside you’ll find a rubric for how to write these, three sample scripts and also questions to ask to help mitigate future shipwrecks. We’ve all been there!
